La musique: minor threat- minor threat (hahahaha)

So I had this really weird dream last night. What's even weirder is that I remember ALL of it.
It was like I was back in junior high. We were going on a band trip to some school, but for some reason it was their first day of school. Me and Hugh Mullally (A million points to whoever can tell me why I'm dreaming of HM) decided it would be fun to ditch our group and go into a class and pretend we were it.
However, all the seats are labeled with a person's name. I grab one at random and look around. All the kids are either smoking or rolling joints. I look in my desk and there's like a KILO of pot, I stash it in my kitbag. By this time the person whose seat I stole comes in and tells me to get up. The teacher, confused b/c all the other seats are taken, asks me who I am. I cite the name on the desk and label the new guy the impostor. Just as the debate was getting heated, Lisa from the wal-mart 1hr photo (wtf?) peeks her head in the door. Seeing both me and Hugh she saves us by saying "those two are needed immediately."
We then return to our group. For some reason I get the urge to pull the fire alarm, so I do. The entire school evacutes and we're all mulling around a common area when suddenly, the SCHOOL EXPLODES. There must've been a real fire or a bomb or something. Hugh looks and me and goes "Whoa dude! You're a hero!"
I wake up.

Why I can't have good old fashioned sex dreams I don't know.

La musique: tasteslikeburning&ohgod.

tasteslikeburning&ohgod. tasteslikeburning&ohgod. tasteslikeburning&ohgod.
tasteslikeburning&ohgod. tasteslikeburning&ohgod. tasteslikeburning&ohgod.
tasteslikeburning&ohgod. tasteslikeburning&ohgod. tasteslikeburning&ohgod.
Tomorrow is MY Christmas. Shit is likely gonna fly, and if I don't bleed I'm gonna be so pissed.

P.S. I rec'd the worst haircut EVER. Be horribly surprized if you see me without a hat for the next while. Eff you first choice haircutters.

La musique: Losing friends- Death from above

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I'm an idiot. Moving on...

I hate not seeing people. I don't know how to feel right now. I don't know what to post. I do know my head is full of a melange of thoughts I cannot explain. There are so many things I wish would just HAPPEN. I'm too impatient, sick of sitting around waiting for shit to happen. CARPE FUCKING DIEM. New year's is the perfect excuse for me to shake my shit up.
To do in '04:
1) Get a car (this is already half done)
2) Get a gym membership AND USE IT. Be healthy, eat better, don't be such a useless sack of shit.
3) Pick up a bass, get lessons with it and on drums too. Rock some socks off.
4) Never stop learning. Music, books, people. Take it all in.
5) Say what I feel.
6) Become part of something, a movement, an organization. Something with meaning. Something I can identify with and be passionate about.
7) Get off of fucking PEI.

DO IT.

La musique: Wicked and weird- Buck 65

Merry christmas everybody. I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that like many an actor who've played Ebenezer Scrooge, once Christmas came, I got the feeling. Christmas eve, actually, was a riot. My whole family got fucked as hell, ate a lot of good chow, and ended up all dancing to Buck 65 in my kitchen.
I woke up at 4am b/c my body clock is all fucked up. I downloaded some music, and bided my time until 8am. We then opened our presents, and I got a lot of good stuff. I slept the rest of the day. And here I am, back at 'er at 12am boxing day. No Dan though, guess I'll just have to entertain myself.

La musique: Get off of my plane- Oh god.

Beer and Blood reprazentin'


OH GOD! Your reckless antics are ruining the
scene. And we expect a full-length from you
sometime in the near future.


Which Nova Scotian punk band are you?
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La musique: Big bang baby- STP

You are currently being graced by the words of the November 2003 Watts/RDC EMPLOYEE OF THE 'EFFIN MONTH.
I was flabbergasted. I get my shift of choice for a month, a star on the Watts wall of fame, and my name, picture and profile in the Watts newsletter. The Profile is the fun part, I made a bit of a joke out of it, for example:
Hobbies/interests: Music, sports, and climbing things and jumping off of them.
Favorite Shows: Simpsons, Sportscentre, Martha Stewart living.
The hardest question to answer was: Best moment in your life to date-
I genuinely couldn't think of one single moment of my life that stand out as "great"
I thought and thought, I came up with these:
(i) Getting laid on top of a mountain in Newfoundland
(ii) Graduating High school (+ prom)
(iii) Halloween '03 party in Halifax
(there's a few more I can think of, but won't post them)

I ended up just putting "Winning Watts employee of the month for Nov '03"

Fuck my life is boring, pointless, (insert negative adjective here).

La musique: Happy Xmas (war is over)- John Lennon.

I feel so empty. This should be a time of celebration, of loving, of caring for your fellow man. To me, it feels like March. I've been listening to carols, helping old ladies get their gifts into their cars and helping my mom with christmas baking. No dice.
This is my first christmas in a long, LONG time without a girlfriend. Could that be it? Are my festive feeling forever linked to those of a significant other (or lack thereof)? I hope to fuck not. In the past, I have loved this time of year. No school, lots of food, and PRESENTS. But this year I feel increasingly apathetic, ambivalent, and bored. I honestly don't care if I get gifts or not. I've been doing a lot of good deeds in the hope of getting "that feeling", but I end up aggravated at myself for not doing this all year, and feel guilty in the pride I receieve for being "a good person." I see parts of this season that wish would go on all year. I see the capitalist, comercialistic, greedy kid, Gap-Old Navy shit I wish would never come back.
Merry Christmas, I need some rum and 'nog.

I'm at work again. I just got a sudden wake of nausea, then swiftly vomited. Is that weird, to just puke for no apparant reason? Maybe a have a terminal illness or something.

*10 minutes later* I just realized that before I went to sleep, I took my pills. Then when I woke up, I took them again forgetting I already had. I am now suffering from a wonderful dose of Lithium poisoning. Should be a fun night.

Ohhhh Kay.
After sleeping all day I head to the Watt's Xmas parety aafter getting high as hell. Immediate flashing waves of paranoia. Everyone is in FORMAL WEAR. Though dressed neat. I Had no tie, was wearing a wristband, and wearing sneakers. I saw Megan too. Fuck Jason Kowalski, he won a trip to Cuba.
Afterwords me and Chuck and kevin went to smoke up and play some pool. Needless to say, I'm still wired, and I'd be super surprized if the girl who was in til 12 didn't smell it.
My first customer: a Mrs D'Alimonte. Comunique was as follows:
Me: "Name?"
CD. "Connie D'Alimonte."
Me: "How do you spell that? Like the canned fruit? (Delmonte)"
CD: "I'm sorry?"
Me: "The people who make canned fruit, their name is delmonte"
I think I managed to explain myself so she understood what I meant, but I'm not sure. I also have a covad guy with a British accent wh keeps looking at me. I may have to kill him. I'll edit in any new events.

1:24 am- Started singing "To be the next to be with you" while atking a piss. Upon leaving realized someone was in the stall. I've been eating cookies off a tray since I got back, the same tray. I have no clue how long they've been there or if I should be eating them. There's sparkles all around my desk, they might be on to me. I bet it was that Britishg fuck. He's so dead.

6:00 am - I had an hour long nap and my high wore off. British guy and the cookies are long gone. I went to subway. I think I'll nap again.

Monday and Tuesday: "Are you the guys putting up those posters with the creepy face?"

Monday was spent re-trevorizing. Highlights include the tower of them at the library and covering the bulletin board at the Khyber. While at the Khyber, an employee asks us the question above. Aparantly her roommate found one in her mailbox with the caption: "French braids his sister's hair" It blew her fucking mind. Aparantly she spend most of the day in a state of confusion and just kept looking at it. Helpless, enthralled, captured in his gase.
That evening we played a murder mystery game. I'm also pretty sure we drank monday night, but the scheamatics escape me. Seahorse maybe?
Was Tuesday the day we drove throught that fucking storm to get to Value Village? The whole trip becomes a blur after this. I know Tuesday night we drank like champions. Jenna and Gab shotgunned beer and I think we ended up going to Jonathan's, with Jenna rolling down the street en route in a stolen office chair screaming "TREVOR!" at strangers, Gabrielle following quickly with a giant pylon. It was F&L in Halifax. Then open mike, but I had to leave because I was uber-fucked. I kicked around with Lau and Meg for a bit and eventually met up with ol' Thelma and Louise, fucked as hell. "I haven't been this drunk in 2 years" said G. with her cigarette distroyed vocal chords. She then fell headfirst into the wall. We went to Sobeys in the hopes of eating some sushi-drinking some water, and not being hung over. Boyyyyy.... did that ever not work.

Sunday- "Not denim on denim!"

Sunday we went to the Mic Mac mall. Somehow in the process of getting from halifax to dartmouth we ended up in a place called cow bay. The trip took like 2 hours. We got to talk to a talking tree though. I told him I wanted a jean jacket.
"will you be wearing that with jeans?" asked the tree. "yeah, I guess." to which the tree exclaimed the quote above. Also if the tree asks, Sharlene is 17 and Gabrielle is a retard named Amanda.
We all start drinking in prep for Trailor park boys Sundays.
Mescaline and $1.50 rum and cokes, I remember little after that.
Something involving the song "the bluenose" and a stranger. Apparantly I passed out in Meg's bed, but woke up on Jenna's floor the next morning,

Saturday- "This is crazy Matt."

Before I open my eyes, I know I'm in Halifax. I'm in pain and horribly hungover. I decide around 10am a lil' colt will put out that fire. I was correct. Buzzed, we go to the farmer market. I climb a building, drunk. Fun.
Upon our return I take a nap.
When I wake up there are papers scattered everywhere. I immediately think: "They photocopied that damn heart throb."
You see, Trevor is one of the cards in the popular 1988 Milton Bradley Classic "Heart throb" The thing about Trevor is, he has the most horrifficly disturbing face you've ever seen. Not in a disfigured way, more like in a creepy rapist-molester sort of way. Throw in the perm, eye liner, and you have Trevor.
So whilst I was asleep Team Trevor went to Staples and made about 200 copies of this god awful face with a white border around it. We immediately got to work writing non-sensical captions on each one. examples:
"Pusher"
"Drug of choice"
"One man bottle drive"
"Touch me"
"Dear Halifax, I just farted."
et cetera.
The day was spent "trevorizing" the city. Taping many to poles, putting them in mailboxes, handing them to pedestrians saying only: "If you're interested.."
We return and decide to have a party. The rest gets hazy. Meg and Jeff had stolen a 40 of rum and of whiskey. Your humble narrator wet his whistle in some colt, then each of the above. rekindling his fondness for rum and cokes.
It was in the process of shooting said rum that I was introduced as "crazy Matt", as was becoming custom. Jenna had taken to introducing me as such, and I was becoming fond of the moniker. I believe the girl's name was Amanda...
A: "Well let me see your eyes" (I had sunglasses on)
Me: "My eyes?"
A: "Yeah, I'll be able to tell you if you're crazy or not." (I show her my eyes) "Nope, you're not crazy."
Me: "Wha?"
A: "Nope, you're not crazy."
I leaned back, gave her a wave, then promptly threw myself down the stairs.
She later apologized for the error.
I do believe after that we went to pizza corner to show Ray the Trevor we had put up whose caption simply read; "Ray Lavers" En route, I climb a roof and jump off. My foot is still sore.
On our return I pass out for the first time in three tries that night.

Friday- "You guys know you're in the hood, right?"

Fuck, I love this city.
After arriving at Jenna's house and finding no one there, team went to find Jenna at the vogue. We arrive, I see a few people I know, after sending Gabrielle in to find Jenna, a funny moment ensues:
Matt: "How long do you think she'll take?"
Sharlene: "Seven minutes."
Precisely seven minutes later, we have Jenna.
However, the show at the vogue was almost over, and deciding to avoid cover, we returned to Jenna's without her to start drinking. I dig into the first in my TWELVE PACK of colt .45. Adequately drunk, we take a cab to the bela muse, where rec'd above golden quote from our cabbie. We realized upon our arrival that the burdocks, or anyone for that matter were not playing there. So we decided to walk through "the hood" to get to the marquee.
It took about 5 minutes before someone offered us drugs. I declined to mention I had enough to send me to jail for a while in my pocket, and had just finished smoking some.
We arrive at the marquee, run into more people, and I finally got to see contrived. I become mystified with the rotating triangle holograms on the floor, first amazed, then trying to stomp them with my feet. By myself. in the middle of an empty dance floor. Comical.
Somehow we end back up at 1164, and jenna gets home. I vaguely remember socializing, but remember little other than that. My nights always seem to end that way in this city.

Hey kids, sorry my comments don't work. Due to my lack of computer knowledge I can't fix 'em, so Dan... email me. I'm going to Halifax tomorrow, I'll probably update there. Hopefully I'll get to trivia tonight to see y'all.

What have I become? My sweetest friend? everyone I know, gOes away in the end. You can have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I WILL MAKE YOU HURT.
If I could start again, a million miles away I would keep myself, I would find a way.
I'm loaded. At Charles' party. I (heart) Janelle.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.

One day in the world that was darkened and cast over with evil, a fine fairy princess arose from the ashes like a spark from a giant donkey's ass, and smite upon the heathen masses with great and vengefull fury!

Happy birthday Jesus! You gay JEW!!!

Hi, i just came from melons, it's shannon, i just ruined jamie j's picking up, mostly cause i knew the girl. Jamie is now pissed at me, I saved her life but ruined jamies, IT's cold. matt calls the cat.

hey yo, yo eh, matt got me melon liqueur, and we sang a song.
it was just beautiful.
like ben harper.

Hi, this is Amber. what's up? Thanks for picking me up off of the floor at Melon's last week

"Losing all hope is freedom."
Ever get so horribly pessimistic you're surprized when things work out? That's where I am. I have also yet to be surprized.
The future is just so uncertain, and things have rarely worked out for me, why expect change? In my job, finances, realtionships, I have little reason for optimism.
There's so many people I COULD love, so many I things I COULD be. None ever work. People I would spend the rest of my life with could possibly not know my last name, things I could be are shot down by my lack of resources. You can't become something, somebody without a few things. Money, brains, ambition among other things. Although I have a decent functioning brain, I have little-no money, and my ambition fluctuates wildly. So fuck.
LOVE ME. I'LL LOVE YOU BACK WITH ALL I HAVE.
"He who lives on hope dies of starvation."

You are VOID! Eccentric, extremely odd and very
disturbed, you think the things that everybody
else avoids and fears. You have a twisted
obsession with death and gore which has made
your musical style stand out above the rest.
You are not afraid to try new things and are
usually found alone. People in power make you
nervous and/or mad. You are very creative. Seek
help.


WHAT D.C. HARDCORE BAND ARE YOU?
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Never in my life have I heard of these guys (or all but one of the possible results). Description sounds like me though, and quizzes are fun to do at work.


borderline


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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hahahahaha

I'm at work, and I have time to kill, so here's what's up:

(i) One of the top-ranking readers digest executives is visiting today and tomorrow. You know all that "You could win $1,000,000!" bullshit mail you get? Yeah, well it's his signature that's on the bottom of them. Anyways, tomorrow he's having a meet-the-employees type lunch with 5 people from the program. I am one of those people. Why? Because I'm "entertaining".
(ii) All is good in the universe. I've patched up everything with all the people I pissed off, and Am confident everything will work out super.
(iii) I get to go to Halifax in a week and a half for 5 days. Giddyup.
(iv) Does anyone else remember me saying that the trade the Raptors made was going to make them contenders? Davis and Williams are bums and in return we rec'd 2 superstars. Marshall scored 27 pts last night and now rookie Chris Bosh gets the starting position he deserves. Me and coat-check-girl are going to have much to discuss Thursday. Assuming she isn't replaced again by a balder, more muscular, irritable, male bouncer version of herself again.
Well time to work. Fuck.