It's likely few if any people will read this, and that's proably a good thing. It's pretty common for me to come here when I'm pissed off. It's a good spot to rant when no one is around to listen, so here goes:
I am sick of being penalized for having goals and wanting a better life.
Lately, I've been feeling increasingly distant from a lot of my friends. My life has changed a lot in the last year, more so than any year I can remember. I've been forced (directly and indirectly) to change my priorities and focus on what is important. I'll be the first person to admit my pals have been hardest hit by my new life choices, but shouldn't real friends be able to understand that people evolve?
A lot of people are blaming or will blame Chelsea for having me "whipped". The fact that people are talking smack about her/us and don't think I know about it is laughable. I'm a big boy. I can make decisions on my own, and my decision is to be there for my family. If that means sacrificing time with my friends, so be it. The only thing more important to me than my friends is my family, and sadly I can't see that ever changing.
A quick remark between friends is what has me all up in arms. I'm not going to say what it was, because it was entirely meant without harm, but it kind of certified some underlying feelings I had been having. Those feelings being that most of my friends don't like me, or at the very least, think less of me for being around less.
I don't go drinking on weekdays anymore. I have a great job that is really important to me and I have a 7 month old who needs his daddy at his beck and call. Makes sense not to go out eh?
Oh yeah? did I mention I had two jobs for the past month and a half?
Fuuuuuuuck.
Pay day loans and throwing up at 2am on Wednesday mornings just aren`t for me anymore.
I am sick of being penalized for having goals and wanting a better life.
Lately, I've been feeling increasingly distant from a lot of my friends. My life has changed a lot in the last year, more so than any year I can remember. I've been forced (directly and indirectly) to change my priorities and focus on what is important. I'll be the first person to admit my pals have been hardest hit by my new life choices, but shouldn't real friends be able to understand that people evolve?
A lot of people are blaming or will blame Chelsea for having me "whipped". The fact that people are talking smack about her/us and don't think I know about it is laughable. I'm a big boy. I can make decisions on my own, and my decision is to be there for my family. If that means sacrificing time with my friends, so be it. The only thing more important to me than my friends is my family, and sadly I can't see that ever changing.
A quick remark between friends is what has me all up in arms. I'm not going to say what it was, because it was entirely meant without harm, but it kind of certified some underlying feelings I had been having. Those feelings being that most of my friends don't like me, or at the very least, think less of me for being around less.
I don't go drinking on weekdays anymore. I have a great job that is really important to me and I have a 7 month old who needs his daddy at his beck and call. Makes sense not to go out eh?
Oh yeah? did I mention I had two jobs for the past month and a half?
Fuuuuuuuck.
Pay day loans and throwing up at 2am on Wednesday mornings just aren`t for me anymore.
6 Comments:
I'm so proud of you for finally saying this.
I have felt uncomfortable about this whole situation for a long time. I think it's extremely unfair that I am seen as the bad guy, or the person who stole you away. Yes, I had a baby and got married JUST so I could steal Matt away!! Yeah!! I left my whole life and family behind and moved to PEI JUST TO STEAL MATT AND PISS PEOPLE OFF!!! AWESOME!!!
I also think it's extremely shitty that the people saying these things don't have the balls to SAY THEM TO MY FACE. You don't even know me, because you never took the time to bother to GET to know me.
Hey Matt,
I still read your blog.. :)
I don't think that anyone should feel bad for being a good husband and daddy.
--- You are still awsome even if you don't go out all the time.
~Jenn
Hey man, I agree.
The fact that you've changed is not a negative thing.
I could go on about this for days, but the simple fact of the matter is that you have a responsibility to your family.
People need to understand that you and Chelsea have a requirement to be a role model for a child, and make sure he stays safe and fed.
You shouldn't feel punished for wanting and having a better life.
It's very selfish of anyone to think otherwise.
I'm actually a little baffled at this.
Mostly because since you guys have been home, I've only really heard comments about how much you've changed in a positive way. How the former "crazy" Matt Ling has really risen to the occasion and has his shit together.
I've heard comments about people wishing you guys were around more, but it's not in bitterness or anger. Everyone understands you have a baby and you can't just hand it off on relatives every time everyone gets drunk. If you DID do that, than I think people would think of it as irresponsible and strange.
I know the friends I hang around with quite well and I really have never heard this type of attitude towards you ever. And I'd like to think I'm very in the loop about these type of things.
People have teased Cory about being "whipped" by me before and we laughed it off because it is clearly not true. Everyone still likes me and wants to hang out with me, its just a joke. An annoying joke, obviously but a simple "fuck off" does wonders.
Before we left we didn't go out all of the time on weekdays or even every weekend but no one will resent you for it. They will go on and party as per usual and give you a call the next weekend and tell you of their previous antics. We've declined on getting drunk on many, many occasions as I've been working a really good job where I can't be hungover in the mornings. No one blames Chelsea, no one blames you wanting to "grow up". It happens and everyone will still like to hang out with you just the same. I know this from experience.
Maybe I completely missed the mark or you are talking about different people entirely but your last line seemed to hit home to some people that I love very much and I just wanted to point out that many of the assumptions stated have yet to be shown when I was around.
I don't mean to sound so negative but I think you should give your friends a bit more credit than this. Everyone cares about you guys and it's not just as a "drunk buddy".
Blah blah, sorry for being long winded. I like hanging out with you guys and I like hanging out with everyone else and I just want everyone to be happy and friends, haha.
Alright. Wow.
So much for venting without repurcussions.
First off, the feedback I have been getting on here and through other means has indicated that I am indeed, loved and appreciated. This is good.
I was having a discussion with a friend about gossip within this circle of friends (which I realize is itself, gossip). This person told me they have heard me and Chelsea being discussed. I didn't ask what was said or who said it: a) Because I didn't want to know. b) I didn't want to put that person in an awkward position.
Now is it possible I misunderstood? Yes. Is it possible I was right? Yes.
Hence why I left it at that. When some is told: "You're not even one of us." Even jokingly, it's hard not to look for some truth in that statement. When I tell everone I'm leaving and not even acknowledged (this is not just once), it's hard not to take notice. I'm a sensitive person, and reacted as such.
I want to thank everyone for their respective responses and opinions, as all are valued, and if I hurt feelings with my choice of words, I apologize. Some of them were digs and typed in a frustrated state.
Thanks guys, I love y'all lots.
MATT START WRITING AGAIN, I NEED TO READ INTERESTING STUFF RATHER THAN JUST DEAR ABBY AND ASK ELLIE ARTICLES!
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