Monday, December 24, 2007

"Clear!"

Beep. Beep.

"We have a pulse."

Where to begin? Making this post feels like a virtual high school reunion. What have I been doing? Where have I been? Even if I could remember it all I could never explain it. If I tried you'd just sit there in your fancy attire, nodding, saying "Oh, that's interessting."
Suffice it to say I'm almost a different person then I was when I wrote of those drunken shenanigans 10 months ago. I'm father-to-be, I'm a husband-to-be, I'm a grown up. That phrase and that realization hit me like a ton of bricks not long after a tearful discussion with the missus many months ago. I have someone who depends on me, I have responsibilities, and I can't afford to be selfish any longer.

"Ah, Mama, can this really be the end?"

I feel like a part of me has died. For better or worse, I'm not a kid anymore. I can't just tear off to Moncton because I feel like it, nor can I stay up all night playing frisbee or getting refills on donuts. I have work, I have chores, There's bills to pay and mouths to feed. I'm going to miss those things.
On the other hand, I've experienced a lot of new things and have a lot more to look forward to. I've discovered just how expensive diamonds are, I've gotten to hear my boy's heartbeat, I've finally understood the lyrics to "Cats in the Cradle" (somewhat).
I'll get to hear "I love you Daddy", see him walk, watch him grow. To me these things are worth more than all the donut refills in the world. It may be the end of something, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like a new beginning.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you so much for the person you were, the person you are, and the person you have yet to become.

2:51 PM  
Blogger a said...

:)!

I love this post and can't wait to see both of you lovely people in months to come.

8:04 AM  
Blogger jnelle said...

aww, i love this post too. you are such a great writer matt...

glad to see viva has been revived!

7:36 PM  

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