Thursday, July 20, 2006

Ok kids, here's your update. I'm in Calgary, I have 2 jobs. One sucks and one has yet to start. Hopefully both combined will enable me to get to P.E.I. as planned. Failing that, I do have a mother who loves me very much and everything should work out. I've had some nutty drunken escapades in the past few days.

Friday (?):
-Drank colt 45 as quickly as possible.
-Decided to play "holstein hands" by myself.
-Suited up in Chelsea's (obviously too small) bright pink hoodie, and hit the town by myself.
-Asked random street walkers if they wanted a taste of the "delicious liquid beer" that was taped to my hands.
- realized a trip to the bathroom was in order after all the liquid beer.
-Found suitable alley close to home and managed to get my shorts down.
- Failed to consider how difficult it would be to pull up/button my shorts with hands full of booze, forcing me to walk down the street with them around my ankles.
-Broke flip flops.
-Random lewd webcamming with various parties.

Saturday:
- Me and Chee got drunk and went for a walk to the 7-Eleven
- The jeans I was wearing were entirely too large, to the point where I could pull them down without unbuttoning them, leading me to drop them while waiting at crosswalks and dancing in my boxers for passing motorists.
- We found a suitable Church lawn to lie down on, then I peed on the church assuring Chelsea "I've done this before"
- Ordering a pizza and greeting the pizza guy in my underwear.
- Mexican pizza is hot.

The End.

There. See you in another month.