Friday, February 25, 2005

La musique: mother- pink floyd

I just got off the phone with my mother.
Apparantly she's going to need a liver transplant.
Hopefully posting this for the world to see won't bother her.

My mother has had more surgeries than I can remember and has this problem since I was little. The issue is a poly-cystic liver. Basically what it is is her entire liver has blister-like cysts all over and though it. Periodically (usually every couple of years) it swells up and pushes and fucks everything up inside her. Causing pressure pains and burning pains in her stomach. Serious, legitimate morphine perscription type pains.

So yeah, transplant. My mind is filled with worry and concern, but also with optimism, as hopefully this will be "the light at the end of the tunnel" for a chonic, serious problem. This light however, means a 2-3 year wait for my poor long suffering mom. Not to mention a serious surgery and a lifetime of anti rejection drugs.

This solidifies in my mind that my mother is, without a doubt the bravest, strongest person I know.
From having me at 19, raising me while going through nursing school. To dealing with my phychologically abusive, unmedicated bipolar father. Then subsequently being a single mother caring for two school age children with not a lot of money. Not only that, but doing a fantastic job raising two healthy, happy, (relatively) well-adjusted children despite their paternal genetic shortcomings. And dealing with this illness thoughout.
Always putting her children first, my mother is the most selfless, giving, forgiving person. She's been there for me always not matter what kind of jam I was in or how badly I'd fucked up. I love her to death and wish I could repay her somehow for a lifetime of love by taking her pain away. But I feel so helpless when I can't. If I could cut out my own liver and hand it to her, I would.
Whether you are religious, spiritual, or none of the above, I ask that you keep my mother in your thoughts and prayers. And if you have a mother who's around and loves you, count your blessings and give her a big hug any chance you get.
Praise Judy Zaat.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

La musique: Roland- Interpol

You know who's hot? Betty Cooper. Are there any girls like Betty in real life? Fuck no. Are Archie comics creating unrealistic world view in young males? Fuck yeah. How on earth would a unemployed redheaded highschooler have a hot brunette heiress and an hotter blonde girl next door fighting over him?