La musique: Rocketman- Elton John

This is what Me, Sharlene, and Butler do in intro to environmental studies class. This particular day we had a guest speaker on environmental economics, the following is the note conversation that followed (condensed):

Sharlene: He sounds like a Yankee
Matt: From the U.S., educated in England, teaches in... PEI??? I'm guessing some sort of scandal, he's likely not allowed into either of those countries anymore. He probably hangs with Cat Stevens.
S: I think he was a football coach- he looks like it. Did you see that movie when the hotshot football coach has an affair with the high school girl? That's him ... he was raised in the south though, he calls his parents "mama" and "sir"
...
M: We should ask him
S: "Let us see your spiral!"
M: "Were you a QB or a wide reciever?"
S: He looks like a young George W.
M: Only Intelligent
S: I can't believe he's not married.
M: Divorced?
...
Butler: Definetly divorced, I'd put money on the fact he cheated on her. He's too skinny to be a quarterback- He was a wide reciever. I bet his nickname was "Buck" I also bet his number was 12.
M: Wide recievers only wear numbers 80-99, I bet he was a tight end.
S: His shirt is tucked in, he's sensitive she cheated on him because her need for the bad boy wasn't being fufilled.

... In goes on and on...

M: Tell him he looks exactly like your Uncle or something and ask him where he's from. He'll think you're hitting on him, but it's better than me doing it.
S: Is it?
B: Concur.

Turns out Dude is from PEI and has likely never played organized football in his life. Now I'm thinking how much I'm paying for this "education" and crying inside.